September 27, 2012
I will not be having a huge blow out-bon voyage-farewell-au revoir-auf wiedersehen-hasta la vista party for my departure. Tonight's impromptu and unexpected show of friends was enough excitement for me as there was ample drama and emotions.
Essentially, I saw all my important longtime girlfriends. Carla came to pick me up and on the way to a French restaurant for lunch, I asked her to stop by as I need to give Danni a birthday gift. Raffy invited me to dinner but instead I told her to come join us. We've been hogging a table the entire day. Finally, Zapheria showed up as she was the friend I was expecting to meet this evening. I texted Ted letting him know that something from Raffy was ready for him and by great luck, he happened to be in our area so I asked him to meet us ladies. A long time friend, Martin, and his fiancee, Patricia were coincidentally already in the restaurant so we all happily reunited after a handful of years. Before Zapheria left to drive a distance back home, I opened her gift. It was a diary with a beautiful cover of the Eiffel Tower. Thoughtful and beautiful. If I don't get to use it this time in Tanzania, I'll use it perhaps when she and I go somewhere one day as she has been wanting to do a culinary tour of Europe with me.
There were drinks, reminiscing of the good ol' days, catching up with friends, and the highlight of the evening was Ted's tarot card reading. We closed the restaurant as we were the last patrons. As Raffy drove me back home, all of the sudden from left field, I'm feeling very nervous with anxiety, and intense stress rivaling that of an upcoming stage performance. I couldn't even concentrate what my friend was rambling about for I was undergoing a chemical reaction. Not pleasant. I'm experiencing a mild nervous breakdown.
It has finally started to hit me: tick tock, tick tock, I'm ditching soon and I'm not completely ready!!!! The sudden enormous pressure stems from finding out that Fendi will be coming to California from Boston this weekend as a surprise. I want to spend quality time with her so I feel the need to accomplish everything before she arrives. No wonder my brother wanted to get together for dinner on Thursday and oddly asked if I could change my flight schedule to leave out of LAX Airport. I get it now, he was hoping he could take Fendi and I simultaneously to the airport. We both will be leaving on Sunday. She returns to Boston and I go to Philly for staging. He was the first person to know; he is Fendi's accomplice.
As soon as I returned home, my daughter and I did our nightly skype session. I absent mindly divulged the fact to my mother that she will be coming back home as a surprise. Fendi was upset that I spoiled her secret plan to her grandmother. I told her I was going to hang up if she was going to get on my case for I was stressed as hell, emotionally, mentally, and physically exhausted that I am in no position to hear her f***ing rant! I'm sorry I spoiled the surprise, kid...I only had 4 hours of sleep, during lunch today I couldn't concentrate well, I still haven't completed my preparation, packing needs to be revised, I'm emotional as there was a lot of adrenaline at the restaurant with friends and when I walked into the house, I immediately read a letter on my desk which exacerbated my emotion. Take a chill pill, kid...
That night, I got up twice from bed in the middle of the night as my heart was pounding and I couldn't sleep as I was compelled to do anything that will make me feel as if I am closer to getting everything done. I did mundane things like locking up my jewelry in my safe, folding some clothes and putting them back in my closet, removing things from my baggage, and any little details that need to be done. I eventually returned to bed as the remaining things can only be completed the next day. The exhaustion finally hit me and I went into slumber land. My heartbeat slowed down and I was able to fall asleep.
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