T-Minus 24 hours

Today is my last final day at home until I leave for Philadelphia tomorrow morning flying out of my local airport with a stop over in Dallas, Texas. Some volunteers will, like me, leave a day earlier in order to arrive on time for Peace Corps registration at noon on October 1, 2012. We have been invited to serve and with our completed paper works, we will turn in the required documents as this is the first step of entering Peace Corps service. It's show time, folks! Welcome to staging! I suppose if you answer on the questionnaire that you've recently been arrested...well, I guess Peace Corps would disqualify you right there and then and you're ass will be kicked out. I am assuming it's still not too late to back out if you get cold feet. If people change their mind before they are to walk down the aisle with a person to be their life partner in marriage, surely there may have been cases where some  realize being a Peace Corps volunteer is a frightening prospect...away from your country for over 2 years, needing to accept and to adapt to an entirely different culture, the training too intense to take it all in, living under harsh condition is not attractive, and missing home and loved ones are too overwhelming. I have had many people tell me there was no way they could do something like this. When I hear this, I honestly try to grasp its meaning. I compare it to me eating sashimi and steak tartare...it's delicious and how can one not love raw fish and beef for its tender and flavorful? To me it's natural but for others it's something they wouldn't touch with a 10 ft. pole.

Brother and sis-in-law took Fendi out to lunch as they will catch up on her life. Mum and I had a slight tiff...great, a fight before I leave home..whatever....so uncool....I'm too preoccupy to babysit other's emotion at this moment. Her enthusiasm in shoving food and vitamins down my throat was too overwhelming. Why couldn't I take everything at my own pace? I'm already nervous and agitated and mother's pushiness is literally pushing me to the edge. When she walked away sulking and mumbling yaddah yaddah yaddah and the words I was able to discern were ungrateful and think about it in the airplane, and I don't know what else for I can't handle her emotional high maintenance at the moment. For God's sake, a daughter is leaving home for a long time and the least one could do was to give her space and not enhance her anxiety.

I'm currently eating Fendi's left over dinner of tagliatelle with Bolognese and the Sprinkles cupcakes sitting on the table is kind of calling my name. If I take one, the kid may have a pissy attack but then again, she's a reasonable person and should understand I'm going to Africa and if mommy wants a f***ing red velvet cupcake as her last treat, then for the love of God...DO NOT EVER DEPRIVE HER OF FOOD!  EVER! That's it, I'm taking the freakin' cupcake. Although you said that one is yours, get over it, it's mine. You can take the vanilla. And who the hell orders a vanilla cupcake at $3.50 a pop!?! It's like going to a fancy overpriced restaurant and ordering vegetable soup. Really?

I just texted my daughter telling her I'm scrumping the red velvet followed by either get over it or buy another one if she has probs with it. Let's see what she replies.....oh Jesus..she replied "wtf" followed by how rude I am. Huh? Where did I go wrong in educating her about sharing??? Now we are having an exchange about a cupcake. I'm too tired to argue about a lousy overpriced mediocre dessert so I'm giving it back to her. She texted back saying she doesn't care and now I can have it. In less than a minute, that fluffy red little bomb of fat and sugar now sits in my stomach....actually, that dumb little cupcake was worth going to combat for. Thanks Fendi for sacrificing your red velvet cupcake so your mother can have her last decadent American sweet. Besides, you had one last night for your birthday. Now, it's my turn.

Oh my...the day may not be too shabby after all. Fights with mother and daughter are not really what I want to last remember my family by. Sweet Jesus of Love! American Airlines just called offering if I'd volunteer to depart earlier as my flight is totally booked. What idiot would refuse first class upgrade, extra baggage allowance of 3 checked bags at 70 lbs each which totals to 210 lbs of more crap I can bring, and the best is arriving at 9pm instead of 11:30pm? Yeah, signed me up American Airlines. I also changed my airport of departure. I'll be flying out from LAX with Fendi...so now mother and daughter can travel together one last time...

So after winning the First Class lotto, greed took over and I am now on a scavenger hunt throughout the house looking for goodies to bring. I whip out a small duffel bag and shove the things I removed before and now gave it a home again. I'll be reopening my beauty and tea salon in some Tanzanian bush village. I'd bring food items but I'm overwhelmed. Maybe I'll stuff my duffel filled with Korean spicy instant noodles. My comfort and in my opinion, the best emergency food in the world. Thanks to American Airlines, my host family will receive more gifts from me as I always wanted to play Santa Clause.

I added some can tuna and salmon and 3 expired gourmet oil I purchased in Paris long ago for my mother. Well, ma...since it's been sitting in the pantry for years and years which means you haven't paid attention to them, I'm reneging on my gift to you. Argan, dill, and pine nut oil from an oil boutique. They may turn rancid by the time I open them....stay tuned.

By late afternoon, Fendi and my brother's family came back home for a family photo shoot. We all color coordinated pretty well and my brother acted as the house photographer. He orchestrated our seating arrangements and made hilarious sounding coo coo coo sound so his baby boy would pay attention and look at the camera. I don't know about the baby, but I sure was having the laughs with his cooing. Mother said she feels like we're in Disney's Tiki Room where exotic birds call. We had a possible combination: 1) grandmother and her 4 grandchildren 2) mother and daughter 3) sister and brother 4) grandchildren 5) mother and daughter-in-law 6) mother, daughter and son 7) me and baby...am I missing something else?

For dinner we went to a Japanese BBQ Joint packed to the gills with Asian diners. I ordered beef tongue just to confirm its funkiness. Tongue tastes like tongue...rubbery and an acquired tasted in texture. You dip the bbq tongue in lemon juice. After dinner outside the restaurant is where I bid farewell to my brother's family. I stared lovingly into my nephew, nearly 6 months old and for the past 3 months, he has given me immense joy. I love him so much. Good thing he is family, otherwise I'd kidnapped the kid and ask for a huge ransom. I'd take the money and run away with the baby to a secluded island where nobody would find us. Well, I don't need to plot 'cause thank God the baby lives only 5 minutes from me. I will miss his babyhood very much. I first said goodbye to Sophie. I clung onto her as I will miss her. I feel she is starting to know me as I can see it from her eyes and the long looks she gives me along with her wide smile. My heart began to go soft. I didn't want to crush her body as I was really holding on to her. Next was Chloe, I remained squatted on the floor to be able to reach these munchkins. I tell her to e-mail me. I got up to hug Debbie, my sister-in-law and that's when the emotional floodgate busted out. I started to sob for I will miss my family. She has been a supporter in my Peace Corps endeavor and tomorrow I finally depart for service. I turned to look at Fendi hoping I wasn't upsetting her by my slight emotional outbreak.

This evening Carla called me and we chatted for a bit; Zapheria called me this morning and we chatted for a while. It's touching when my friends call me to wish me well, bon voyage, to stay safe and expressing their love and support. I am touched by their thoughts.

Two days ago as I came home, I saw a flower arrangement sitting on my desk with a card. For the life of me, I have absolutely no idea who would send them to me. As I read the card, I was overtaken not only by the sender but the messages. That emotion will stay for me.

I just ended a call from a friend in India, Deepak. A long distance well wish is nice!

I would like to thank some people who have made my Peace Corps experience possible. First to John, Carla and Danni. Thank you folks for writing my Letter of Recommendation for without your positive feedback, I may not had the interview. Okay, at least 3 people don't think I'm a dork. That's good! Thanks to my recruiter, Johann D'Agostino and eventually to Fritz Morrison who is the placement officer inviting me to Tanzania, a great country. Thanks Fritzy! Namaste to Rajan for his boundless energy and loving support in having all my medical documents printed, transporting me to hospitals and other clinics for 5 weeks where I received my medical clearance and finally sending the completed package to Washington DC. I appreciate all your help! Thank you Orange County Peace Corps Association where I met fine people and especially to Jan, an inspiration. After 2 knee replacement surgeries, this mature woman served Peace Corps in Tanzania! Merci Danni, Zapheria and Katiana for your goodies that I will take with me to use. Big thanks to Dr.Albert Garib for his gifts, advice, and friendship. I am touch from all my friends' well wishes and messages of support and admiration. Lastly, thanks to my family who has supported all my stunts in life.Thank you brother for your help when I am away and the laptop will become a daily use for I can write grants and post blogs! I will miss my mum's cooking and loving care. I love you mother dearest. Lastly, thanks Fendi for eventually understanding. I love you very much and I'm expecting your arrival in Africa. One of the most important person who I owe big times and will be eternally grateful is Alice Nelson. A sweet angel sent to me with whom Sweet Pea's final days will be spent. The dilemma of who will care for Sweet Pea has been resolved. I will be at peace knowing my old dog of 16 years old will spend the end of her days with a loving and caring woman. Alice is Sweet Pea's mommy now....Thank you, Alice.

Thanks to American Airline's upgrade to First Class, I will be checking in not 2 but 3 baggage that I will be taking to Peace Corps service which comes out to be 125 lbs. Thank God, I won't be having to pay $8 for some lousy sandwich and a bag of chips for dinner...I'll be getting actual served food.

This will be my last blog posting written from my home office in California. The next posting would be in Philadelphia, my last days in the United States while I attend staging for Peace Corps. When I arrive in Tanzania, Africa, I don't know when or where I will be able to post but stay tuned for I start to share tales from Tanzania. For now, goodbye family and friends. I would love to hear from you. Contact information can be found on my Facebook. To receive an actual hand written note delivered by a postman would absolutely make my day, if not, an e-mail, Facebook message, or a comment left on a blog would be lovely too!

Here we have an assortment of all style of luggage. Suitcase, backpack (the blue is a cover), duffel  and a messenger bag.
 3 check in baggage at 125 lbs total and 1 carry on, my laptop

 

 

 

Blogging makes me hungry so I'm stealing Fendi's red velvet cupcake

 

 

 

For a family fun time: 1) chose someone who knows how to operate a camera 2) select venue 3) color coordination of clothing is not mandatory but kind of fun 4) play with different arrangement and combination of people 5) lastly, don't forget to SMILE!

An impromptu petite soiree with friends followed by a mini crisis

September 27, 2012

I will not be having a huge blow out-bon voyage-farewell-au revoir-auf wiedersehen-hasta la vista party for my departure. Tonight's impromptu and unexpected show of friends was enough excitement for me as there was ample drama and emotions.

Essentially, I saw all my important longtime girlfriends. Carla came to pick me up and on the way to a French restaurant for lunch, I asked her to stop by as I need to give Danni a birthday gift. Raffy invited me to dinner but instead I told her to come join us. We've been hogging a table the entire day. Finally, Zapheria showed up as she was the friend I was expecting to meet this evening. I texted Ted letting him know that something from Raffy was ready for him and by great luck, he happened to be in our area so I asked him to meet us ladies. A long time friend, Martin, and his fiancee, Patricia were coincidentally already in the restaurant so we all happily reunited after a handful of years. Before Zapheria left to drive a distance back home, I opened her gift. It was a diary with a beautiful cover of the Eiffel Tower. Thoughtful and beautiful. If I don't get to use it this time in Tanzania, I'll use it perhaps when she and I go somewhere one day as she has been wanting to do a culinary tour of Europe with me.

There were drinks, reminiscing of the good ol' days, catching up with friends, and the highlight of the evening was Ted's tarot card reading. We closed the restaurant as we were the last patrons. As Raffy drove me back home, all of the sudden from left field, I'm feeling very nervous with anxiety, and intense stress rivaling that of an upcoming stage performance. I couldn't even concentrate what my friend was rambling about for I was undergoing a chemical reaction. Not pleasant. I'm experiencing a mild nervous breakdown.

It has finally started to hit me: tick tock, tick tock, I'm ditching soon and I'm not completely ready!!!! The sudden enormous pressure stems from finding out that Fendi will be coming to California  from Boston this weekend as a surprise. I want to spend quality time with her so I feel the need to accomplish everything before she arrives. No wonder my brother wanted to get together for dinner on Thursday and oddly asked if I could change my flight schedule to leave out of LAX Airport. I get it now, he was hoping he could take Fendi and I simultaneously to the airport. We both will be leaving on Sunday. She returns to Boston and I go to Philly for staging. He was the first person to know; he is Fendi's accomplice.

As soon as I returned home, my daughter and I did our nightly skype session. I absent mindly divulged the fact to my mother that she will be coming back home as a surprise. Fendi was upset that I spoiled her secret plan to her grandmother. I told her I was going to hang up if she was going to get on my case for I was stressed as hell, emotionally, mentally, and physically exhausted that I am in no position to hear her f***ing rant! I'm sorry I spoiled the surprise, kid...I only had 4 hours of sleep, during lunch today I couldn't concentrate well, I still haven't completed my preparation, packing needs to be revised, I'm emotional as there was a lot of adrenaline at the restaurant with friends and when I walked into the house, I immediately read a letter on my desk which exacerbated my emotion. Take a chill pill, kid...

That night, I got up twice from bed in the middle of the night as my heart was pounding and I couldn't sleep as I was compelled to do anything that will make me feel as if I am closer to getting everything done. I did mundane things like locking up my jewelry in my safe, folding some clothes and putting them back in my closet, removing things from my baggage, and any little details that need to be done. I eventually returned to bed as the remaining things can only be completed the next day. The exhaustion finally hit me and I went into slumber land. My heartbeat slowed down and I was able to fall asleep.

Surprise, Surprise mommy!

Today is Fendi's 20th birthday. I remember 20 years ago when she entered the world and my life.

Fendi came from Boston to surprise me in California. Her brief stay is only 72 hours where she will spend time with family, celebrating her birthday, and seeing me again one last time before I depart the country to serve Peace Corps. What a very special treat for me as I think it's a wonderful idea and I am so glad that she came up with this secret plan.

As I zipped her party dress and curled her hair this early evening in preparation for her birthday dinner, I looked at her face in the mirror. My daughter is beautiful. For a moment, I imagined as if she was getting married or going to the prom as her dress and hairdo was dressy and festive. I had a sense of immense pride yet sadness as I know she is growing up as a young adult. As I write this, my throat is tight and eyes are watery. I will miss her very much.

My baby who I adore the most in this world

No flower can ever compare to your beauty

Happy 20th Birthday, Bon Bon !

 

Once and for all, the packing has got to be finalized!

Like Groundhog Day, here we go again....another rerun episode of opening all the baggage and looking at everything with numbness and fatigue. I've memorized every single item I own after blankly staring at them for 20 million time since the past two months. I decided to make room for things that will significantly make a difference in a valuable way to me during my Peace Corps tour. Out goes products for the outside and in goes product for the inside. My tiny beauty salon will now be replaced with a tiny vitamin store. I chucked the cheap skin care products and threw in expensive health care supplements. As hard as it was, yes, I dumped a bottle of hair color. I'll have to chose either the Tanzanian president or our president.* Per a friend's advice....it makes total sense to build one's immune system while living in a country where sanitation, illnesses, possibly nutrition and other worrisome issues may and can contribute to one's decline in health. A recent Peace Corps volunteer has malaria, as I discovered this morning via her Facebook. How disconcerting and how very sad I felt when I learned this. Although she seemed fine as she is receiving care and treatment, malaria and other diseases are a reality in the continent of Africa. Even malaria happens to good people.

In addition, I'm removing things that may not be of constant daily use. My art supplies are the only things I am hesitant to leave out as it is heavy and takes space. But since some volunteers are bringing a musical instrument, my art instrument is what I will play in that it will equally nourish the soul and give me pleasure.



* obviously, I have been sarcastic about vanity and the interest in meeting the President of Tanzania and President Obama.

5 more days....the countdown is near

Less than a week and my ass is seriously out of here. I'm not feeling any angst, nervousness, or excitement. Well, that's not entirely true...I definitely am anticipating something. I am feeling mild stress of the gentlest kind. The stress stems from the pressure of needing to have everything be completed before departure for once I enter a vehicle for the drive to my local airport...that's it....no turning back....forgot to do or bring something?...too late, so too bad, too sad!

Send out income tax info for the next 2 years to tax guy? Check. Pay all bills? Check. Record important banking and insurance info to self? Check. Distribute friend's upcoming birthday gift? Not yet. Received Peace Corps reimbursement for yellow fever vaccination? Not yet. Go visit dog one last time? Need to be on To Do List.

Fendi and I continue to have our nightly Skype session and I fit in daily lunch and dinner dates with friends and family. I have gained much weight since I returned home 3 months ago from my travel. I am pigging out to make up for what I didn't eat for the past nearly 8 months and for what I won't be eating for the next 27 months. If I am at home for meals, mum feeds me more refined food such as seafood, including but not limited to lobster, clams, King Crab legs, and honker shrimps. She feeds me filet mignon as If I was a viscious Doberman guard dog that needs to be rewarded and pampered. She takes me out on sushi binges where we eat like there is no tomorrow. Technically, for me, that's perhaps not totally inaccurate. A sushi lunch cost half of my Peace Corps monthly stipend. Two orders of the sweet shrimp is $30. It only takes one mouthful of bite to eat one. Two for mum, two for me. We asked that the head of the shrimps be cooked in the miso soup. We basically order everything raw in the fish case. We've exhausted the sushi world.

At times, Mum would shake her head in disbelief and bewilderment why I wouldn't prefer to chose to travel in a luxurious comfortable way. Why would I elect myself to live under harsh condition? Like who the hell actually gets excited expecting no electricity and running water for 820 days? I just give her the same goofy face and present the same spiel...it'll be a great experience for myself and especially to be able to help others.

Here we go again...packing issues

During today's 7 AM Peace Corps conference call, the country director tells us it's not necessary to bring much luggage and that we don't need to feel that we should max out the baggage weight limit. We will be hating our baggage as they will be heavy.  While I agree with this thinking, yet I can debate that while we will be burdened initially with the weight and volume during transit; nevertheless, once we arrive at site and make our residence, I'd think those who brought a lot will be happy that they did because once they've unpacked and started to play house, they have what they want and it's there already.

To mail items from home to Tanzania is expensive and theft a possibility. While things are cheap to purchase, we volunteers have absolutely no idea if what we need to buy is 1.) available in country 2.) available at site 3.) quality is acceptable. I suppose acceptable is relative.

My M.O. is to suck it up initially and finally at the end, I have what I want to bring. This is not a 2 weeks vacation we are packing for. This is our life for the next 2 years plus and whatever useful and useless items we bring, it will all be in use and if not, give it away as gifts to the locals and neighbors of the village. Certainly, they'd appreciate a souvenir or two from the United States.

Today, I reopened my baggage and again for the umpteenth time, I try to fine comb through everything. I decided to dump all the teas thus making room for the many books we will be receiving. Two bar of soaps also didn't make the final cut and the hanging laundry needs a new home. I think it will be delighted to reside in mum's house. She actually owns one and uses to hang her cleaning rags out in the sun to dry. True to my style, what I took out, I replaced with something else. I added a bathing suit, more underwear, additional surplus of packaged seeds, one more bottle of COQ10 courtesy of mum and finally will give a chance to that black polyester dress which is the finest garment from my Peace Corps wardrobe. You now can guess what I'll be wearing to the presidential gigs...to match my newly colored hair.

I give up on the packing!

Call me greedy, but if we can carry 100 pounds worth of life to Peace Corps, why the heck not take advantage? Am I an opportunist? You bet! The majority of items will be used up and in no time, the once upon a time monstrosity of all that weight and mass will soon be dwindle to half the volume.

Tonight I took out some items, completely insignificance in weight but what I added was random. I raided my mum's pantry and took with me all the stash of herbal teas I last bought when I was in Germany. It weighs a feather but it's bulky as they look like potpourri in a plastic bag. 5 bags with miscellaneous loose tea bags which they were found homeless and unwanted so I'll give them a home in Tanzania. I also played eenie meenie miney moe for I need to chose some packets of seeds to start a garden. I closed my eyes and whatever my right hand grabbed will be my future cornucopia. Today during breakfast at a cafe, I took two handfuls of Tabasco sauce packets. These are probably, I dare say, the most important and emotionally satisfying thing I'm bringing. The king size Mcdaddy bottle are no longer sold in Costco. Scheisse! I don't know where else sell these giant bottles for I use Tabasco as an alcoholic abuses alcohol. A bottle doesn't last very long in my possession. If Tabasco came in a solid form, I'd eat that too. Nutrition may be challenging, so I stole my mum's last two bottles of COQ10. I hate taking vitamins for I have a sensitive gag reflex. But for health's sake, these capsules may delay the aging process as I will be withering under the hot beating African sun trekking far to fetch water from a well, handwashing clothes over rocks in a stream where after couple months, my hands will start to look like they belong to a hag's, beheading a chicken for dinner and walking or biking for miles to buy an egg...in which all these activities are laborious and aging as it's a hard life. I do have one anti-aging product as a "treat". This is somewhat extravagant but I thought in life, you never know... so be prepared. I have two bottles of hair color. You never know when the President of Tanzania will invite me to a  zebra BBQ lunch or seeing who can who can last the longest, me or Obama, at a jumping dance marathon in Kenya. Garnier's Medium Natural Brown #50 will give me the  solid confidence in these two occasions.

My South African friend, Elmarie, told me to bring a bottle of hair color for an "emergency". I asked her what emergency?? She gave me that sly smile and her mischievous blue eyes said it all. I adamantly told her "uh....NO!" Elmarie tells me how funny it would be if I fell in love, hence the emergency hair color to seal the deal. She has been in safaris in Tanzania and explains to me the landscape of the wilderness, stars, tent, etc...I suppose all condusive to carnal desire. This woman, she is very beautiful by the way, has even done it in trees! Wow, now that takes some skill and agile acrobatic abilities.

...for I imagine when I am covered in red dust and sweat, wearing Teva sandal in Fendi's hand-me-down t-shirt-bought-in-8th grade with a farmer's tan and mismatched African kanga print skirt with 2 inches of gray hair coming out of my $7.99 Target sun hat....uh.... I don't think sexy was what I was going for. Even Garnier's Natural Brown #50 can't really save me now. The most I can work it is the shabby chic look. Even that's pushing it...let's face it, the Peace Corps look ain't too hot.

Unfortunately, I can't even max out the 100 pounds because I no longer have space in my baggage, so I'm under 90 pounds. I feel less greedy now.

Without knowing the climate and water situation, who knows what will successfully grow

2 check in + 2 carry on = lots of crap

Spending time together via Skype

Recently, Fendi and I skype for hours until she falls asleep. It's a minimum of 8 hours that I sit in front of my computer and she has her laptop which she takes to bed. When we are not exchanging a conversation, we both do our things on our computers where our cameras enable us to see one another. Since there is a 3 hours time difference, she will have already retire and begin to fall asleep. Meanwhile via the webcam, I can see her sleeping, tossing and turning in bed, and I can also hear the city noise emitting from her bedroom window in Boston.

This is our way to feel connected with one another before I depart the country; we can see and hear each other even if we are not talking. It feels as if we're basically in the same room.

My daughter asked me to create something for her and her roommate who became her best friend in Boston. This picture she wants me to render has meaning for them as these two girls' college friendship started with meetings for breakfast. It's the Winnie the Pooh breakfast quote.

 

When you wake up in the morning, Pooh," said Piglet at last, "what's the first thing you say to yourself?"

"What's for breakfast?" said Pooh. "What do you say, Piglet?"

"I say, I wonder what's going to happen exciting today?" said Piglet.

Pooh nodded thoughtfully. "It's the same thing," he said.” 

 

 

Couple evenings ago when Fendi fell asleep, I started to work on this illustration. I tried to jazz up an extremely simple illustration with more scenes and added color. I look forward to her reaction the next day as I had plan to post it on her Facebook wall as a surprise upon her discovery. I was a very happy mother when she replied to the post, Love it.

We are only a webcam away, kiddo!

Brother Bonaparte is the Bomb!

There are certain kinds of people, if one is fortunate enough to encounter, that makes the world a better place. To know them is a blessing. To be with them is comforting. They are always safe, happy, and fun for they exude kindness, humor, intelligence and they are always responsible and ethical. These people make you feel good and you always want to be in their presence for every second spent with them is truly a joy. Sadness is when you must part from them.

I am lucky to know of such a person and even luckier that he is closely related to me. He is my brother. Bonaparte is the epitome of congeniality...a soul that even Satan wouldn't harm. He makes one feel good. During his wedding, me being his best man, or best woman in this case, my speech reflected this sentiment as I proudly shared with family and his friends that my brother is my favorite person in the world.

He is a man who adores being a father and a husband; a wholesome all around good person who genuinely finds bliss spending time with his family. His wife and children won the lotto of having him as their father and husband. They must have been fallen Saints in their past life to have a great human in this present life.

When I announced I'd be in a long journey traveling to third world countries with plan to trek Everest Base Camp in Nepal, my brother never verbalized excitement from approval or discouragement from disapproval. Just like my announcement for Peace Corps departure. Same thing. Neither here nor there. At times, I wished he would show happiness which is to share in my joy or being more verbal in his thought because I'm not entirely certain of how he feels about the things I do in life. But I understand that his lack of expression, positive or negative, may be his sensitivity towards my daughter, his niece's anxiety; therefore, he doesn't want to tell me what I should or should not do in life.

He shows support and encouragement in my endeavors not by strings of verbose sugar coated words, but by thoughtful and considerate gesture. For my adventure in Mount Everest, he prepared me a hiking outfit with socks and thermal underwear and a Suuno watch with altimeter and the works. For his peace of mind, as he put it, he asks that I accept his gift of an Apple IPhone 4S, the top of the line model, for this device is a global phone in which I am able to make international calls in the event of an emergency. For my next gig with the Peace Corps, brother bought me a 13" Mac Air laptop, again, the upgraded top of the line model with other goodies as attachment.

It is not the actual value of the gift and the money he spent, but his loving and generous thought. He wants to make my life's journey easier and safer. My brother's love and support for me will always be cherished in my heart no matter where I am on this globe.

At the end of the day, action speaks louder than words...

My brother Bonaparte is the bomb!




Bon Voyage Sis!

 

Swahili Lessons versus Social Life

I've traded studying Swahili for social life. I'd venture to guess that would be a general consensus as eating, laughing, and talking is probably more enjoyable than learning the difference between adjective, noun and verb agreements of ki-vi and m-wa class noun or memorizing the concept of how to tell time Swahili style. In the Swahili language, to tell time is to understand that there is 12 hours of daylight and 12 hours of darkness. Day begin at 6:00AM and night begins at 6:00PM. Therefore to express 7:00PM, one would translate that as "hour ONE of the night". I better learn how to count because telling time will be a challenge for me. 8:00 PM would be "hour TWO of the night" and 9:00PM would be "hour THREE of the night" and so forth. 3PM would be "hour NINE of the morning". The clock face's 12 hours are completely different. The 12 is replaced by 6, 3 is now 9, 6 is oddly enough 12, and 9 is replaced by 3. CRAZY CLOCK! If one's mind work backward and enjoys insanity, here is another grammatical structure and cultural concept of how to express days of the week. Saturday is the beginning of the week, unlike Monday as we know it in the West. So, Saturday is expressed as "1st day", Sunday is "second day", and Monday is 3rd day" and now you understand why one better know how to count with fingers. Randomly enough, Friday is "congregation day".

There is only so much time in a day to do everything and now with less than 2 weeks before leaving home, it is now or never to see my friends and enjoy their camaraderie. My calendar is pretty full with lunches, dinners, events... and as I write this, I just happily accepted an Angels game with junk food galore.

I have been quite a recluse in the past several years where my social life has taken a back seat. I was comfortable being comfortable and didn't miss the social action. The thought of having to dress (the worse part), applying make up (cause as a middle-aged woman, you don't want your natural face to scare children), touching my never brushed hair (how do I hide my premature gray) and whatever entails preparation for a social outing was emotionally, mentally, and absolutely physically exhausting! When you get older, comfort takes precedent in aesthetic and sometimes even the potential of "fun". Fun to me is not having to "work" at getting ready to go out. You get addicted to Hello Kitty fluffy plush PJ pants. It's hard to take those off; it's like your second skin.

I am somewhat "making myself to be out there" again as I did once upon a time where I was a seasoned social butterfly. In the past several days, I am realizing how much fun and good time I am having with my friends. In a way, I have started to miss them already and realized their importance. I am grateful for my friends. Mostly I am grateful for their generosity as they have extended themselves and their invitation to me for normally, I would be off the radar for many as I never call a single soul. If it wasn't for the pro active initiation of my friends, I would have not meet them again...cause I'm too dang lazy to call! (blame it on Hello Kitty)

Thank you friends for allowing me to enjoy your company one last time before I leave home. I will miss you all.

More goodies in my inbox from Peace Corps

I enjoy receiving e-mails of logistics from Peace Corps. I imagine my peers, fellow to-be-trainees, feel the same way as this mean we are closer to being a volunteer and the imminent departure is near.

Today's treat is a 17 pages print out of what to expect during Pre Service Training. My first shock was learning that upon arrival that later evening in Tanzania, we would immediately be given malaria prophylaxis. Other than that head turner, it appears that the training program is very effective in that it's all experiential. We will be "dumped' into a real live village and practice the skills that we have just learned. This makes total sense. Sitting in a classroom is theory but in order to be successful and effective, one must be in the field doing the actual work. Our training will be in a village where we are assimilating an actual site.

After finishing the reading, I felt very good, very positive, and very excited. In my mind's eye, I can already see what this may look like and how I fit in.

Today I repacked everything! I take something old out, I put something new in. I take more things out and I put more things in. At the end of the day, I am at the same place...no more no less. At least everything is now orderly and totally compartmentalized.

Oh....I did finally buy a slip. The thought of wearing a black 23" microfiber slip under my maxi skirt is already making me hot and sweaty. At least it is anti-cling.

What the hell did I pack or bring it on till it's 100 lbs!

I am exhausted simply from the sight of the items I plan to take with me to Peace Corps service. Initially, we were told of an allowance of 80 pounds. Now... I understand it is a whopping 100 pounds, therefore...HELL YEAH......I plan to stuff my baggage until it explodes or when it gets to 100 pounds.

I am a minimalist when I travel but with premeditation and determination, I will splurge just this one time and bring as much jazz as I can to make my 27 months of life just a lil' bit more comfortable, interesting, and convenient. Okay, there is nothing "interesting" that I am bringing. Maybe two pairs of chopstick can qualify. Maybe not...

Toiletries and art supplies, if utilized, will all be gone from use. So that is already 20% of my bulk as they are probably the heaviest in weight, not counting all the shoes. I have a box containing a potpourri of colored water pencils, markers, acrylic paints, brushes and inks with several drawing paper notepads in 11"x14". I even brought an electric pencil sharpener and some miscellaneous stationery supplies. I did bring a lot of skin care lotion and potion but not because I am a high maintenance gal, au contraire, but because my local health food store had a clearance shelf where I took my right hand and arm and swiped every bottle and jar of cream off the shelf down to my shopping cart thus making loud clinking sounds. With a sticker price of $2.97 per item, who could  have resisted? I have enough inventory for me to open a tiny beauty salon in my village in Tanzania. Blame it on the ridiculous sale! NOT ME!

There is an irony about me. I love to eat but I hate to look at a menu and order food. I love to travel but I hate to pack clothes. I'm wishy washy when it comes to packing clothes. I rather live in hiking pants and shirts but in order to keep the appearance of professionalism of my job title and the organization that I represent and most importantly, the integration of the local culture, I should be wearing skirts. Preferably ankle length. This is Peace Corp's rule, especially during training and possibly at my site if I end up living on the coast where it's primarily Muslim in which ultra conservative is in order. I have not had much luck finding long skirts. To add insult to injury, ladies are required to wear a slip under their skirts. Who the hell wears a slip in the 21st century? Women these days can hardly wait to show skin, boobs, thighs, belly, and almost ass. We live in the age of bimbos where "sexy" means showing skin, lots of it. Even grannys these days don't wear a slip! Again, that was also challenging to find in which as I write this, I still do not own one. I'm thinking in exasperation, "who the hell is going to wear a slip underneath a long skirt when you're hot and sweaty in Africa...like who's going to know!?!?" I shall respect the culture as surely there is a reason, maybe not a logical one, but one nevertheless...therefore, a lady's slip is on my shopping list.

Next category is my favorite: gears and gadgets. Smallest in size but largest in value. I plan to have a Mac Air laptop ( a gift to be from my very generous brother), Kindle Touch, IPhone, Powertraveller extreme solar charger, Eton portable short wave radio, Altec Lansing portable speaker, Lumix digital camera, flash drive, Steripen, and then the little guys like an assortment of tools and switch blades accouterments, headlight, flash light, assorted batteries, binocular, kitchen knives, veggie peeler, plastic egg carrier, solar shower, adapters, bike helmet, nalgene bottle and a single trekking pole in which the top end serves as a uni pod for my camera.

I feel a bit extravagant but I know well that they will come in good use and I will not regret bringing 2 pairs of sunglasses and 3 hats. Why the numerous quantity? Again, cheap price and awfully cute which means irresistible. I love Target. Enough said.

The rest are mumbo jumbo such as a Swahili dictionary, a Tanzania guide book, Qtips, cotton pads, several micro fiber towels in different size and form, plastic bags, nylon bags, travel bag, other kind of bags, Ziploc bags, and laundry hanger with clothes pin I received as a gift from Albert who is smart so I will bring what he gives me since he is a practicing MD with a JD and a MBA degree. Dr. Garib also contributed to some of the things I'll be bringing. He is the only person who has given me gifts in which I can use during my Peace Corps service. Thank you dear sir!

It's always wiser to bring more than to bring less in that you'll aways have it handy when you need it given that we will be living in a house. Or maybe a hut. Again, why not max out the 100 pounds allowance? It's a once in a life time opportunity that one can bring free 100 lbs of baggage. After Peace Corps service, I revert back being a regular Joe Schmo with the standard 55 lbs allowance for international travel. So for now.....bring it on baby......!

Remember that I love you, Fendi!

Today is the last day that I saw my daughter until either I return to USA from Africa or she comes to visit me overseas.

I left a very special gift for her to find when she returns home from work this early evening. I enjoy giving her surprises. When she was a child, I would leave a different Beanie Baby on her side table for her to discover, put little love notes and goodies in her lunch bag, put out birthday gifts the night before and decorate her room with surprising fun things. Sometimes they are random gifts for random occasions or no occasions. Then there are the Valentine, Easter, and Halloween goodies to bestow on her too.

On her bed lies a gift bag which contains a small box wrapped with a big bow. When she unties the ribbon, she will find a small bracelet with the word "love" in crystals. My wish is that she will wear this daily on her wrist and always remember that her mommy loves her everyday and always regardless of which body of ocean separates us...for distance can never separate love, especially unconditional love between a parent and child.

She still has issues of me leaving. It's not the Peace Corps itself she disapproves, but that I am leaving outside her comfort zone. Emotionally, she feels abandonment.

The gift is not an attempt to buy her off as she is never persuaded by materialism and is way too intelligent to be manipulated. This is a tangible token of my love; a physical symbol that can remind her that I am not abandoning her because my love is always with her.

Don't sweat Swahili

I only have the best of intentions; however, life's more pressing issues distract even the most studious learner.

There are two schools of thought on studying the foreign language of your host country on your own a bit prior to arrival. Some say it's a good idea and some say don't waste precious time.

The latter thinking makes sense as what little valuable time we have left, it should ideally be spent with family and friends. Enjoying quality time trumps learning all the 9 different classes of noun and memorizing all its prefixes, infixes, agreement rules and whatever other grammatical structure that this language from its Bantu root will drive you crazy.

Although personal safety in a different culture is relied heavily on language integration, it would behoove volunteers to get a head start even though Peace Corp's language training is hardcore and top notch. Supposedly, it's world class language training. Being a polygot, this was definitely an extra advantage of wanting to be involved with the Peace Corps. Foreign language to me is not dull laborious work; it's sexy and exciting!

If I feel like it, I'll peruse a borrowed book from the library, if not ...as they say in Swahili: hakuna matata! Or as Pumba taught Simba in The Lion King, don't worry!

Last dinner with daughter

Whether by coincidence or design, appropriately enough, my last evening spent with my daughter was dining in an Ethiopian restaurant. This was her idea and I gladly agreed as an African dinner is a a smashing good farewell send off to me from her in that she will remember where I'll be. I have invited her numerous times to visit me in Tanzania; but as usual, she does not indicate an emotion swaying either way. I hope she comes to see me and to discover a new world different from hers.

Same day last year on 9/11

Exactly a year ago, I thought how symbolically meaningful and especially memorable had my recruiter announced of my Peace Corps nomination. It was the month of September that the first opening of a general job assignment took place during my application process.

I was not nominated until the third job opening in the month of March the following year, 2012. The second time I learned I didn't receive a nomination was whilst abroad traveling in Nepal, I seem to recall.

Those waiting period for a nomination allowed me to surrender to the fate that shall be decided for me. I would have gladly accepted and not be disappointed or bitter should I didn't make the competitive cut. If I didn't join the Peace Corps now, I would return to India to continue an incomplete and unfinished journey.

India is not going anywhere. However, my interest, motivation, and physical stamina to live and work under harsh condition may wean or all together disappear when I am older to reapply for the Peace Corps. It is meant for me now to take this path. I am ready while I still am still physically, mentally, and emotionally willing.

3 weeks and 3 days till...

I'm lying on my daughter's mattress on the floor of her new apartment in Boston. We still need to buy basic furniture, ie. desk, bed, drawer, coffee table and a television. As I think what are her "necessities"; suddenly, I think about my own "necessities" in my currently unknown housing in Tanzania.

People adapt to what they have and do not have. You become accustomed to driving a Mercedes-Benz, riding a bike, or traveling by foot. One can have the luxury of eating three different variety of all-you-can-eat cuisine or one main meal consisting of a heavy carb-filled plate of grains. It's all the same in terms of survival and living. You get used to a certain kind of living condition and lifestyle. As long as the basic needs are met, the rest is extra credit.

I'm feeling that once I return home to California, with only 2 weeks and 3 days left until I depart for Peace Corps, it will emotionally feel like 2 days and 3 hours as I still have not entirely completed my "to do list" and towards the end the social obligation one should oblige. There are also some very, very long phone calls I've owed people that I still have not returned.

When I leave my house on September 30, I know I will wonder if I have missed doing something or forgotten bringing something. It's an unsettling feeling surrounded by angst and stress.

I have 3 weeks and 3 days to avoid and prevent this.

I say "hasta la vista" this month to my family and friends

Today is officially September 1, 2012. I leave the last day of this month.

Time passes extremely fast and I feel neutral. I am at this moment neither excited nor unexcited.

This is my modus operandi: I will start "feeling" whatever one is suppose to feel the moment my feet touches foreign soil. This means that anything leading up to it: the drive to the airport, boarding the plane, and even meeting fellow Peace Corps volunteer on American territory will still feel familiar. Surely, I will start to get the vibe of the Peace Corps experience in anticipation of what is to come but I am not there yet...

My heart will start to sing and perhaps flutter when, we, the Peace Corps volunteers start to one by one leave the aircraft arriving at the Mwalimu J.K. Nyerere International Airport queuing in line to give the Tanzanian immigration officer our Peace Corps passport. He looks at us exhausted as we will be arriving late and he makes a loud thump sound as he stamps our entry and then we will leave the airport building with our 100 pound baggages where we packed our life.

... I will then take my first sniff of Tanzanian air. Now, I will have become excited...and hope I didn't forget to bring something....

Read till you drop 'cause you've got 27 months, girl!

This Labor Day weekend is laborious for me in that I have been uploading, downloading and whatever and however it takes to get 2 years and 3 months worth of reading material on my new toy, the Kindle Touch.

One lady I met who served Tanzania many years back read over 200 books during her service. I suppose when there is no electricity and the village sleeps once the sun sets, reading is a feasible activity as long as you have a tiny teeny headlamp worn on your head.

I love the compact, convenience, portability, and whatever other bells and whistles it come with... but honestly, nothing beats like holding a weight of a worn out book in one's grubby hands where you can earmark a page, write notes on it, or draw mustache and devil horn on a face of a book cover!

These new eBook reader are quite a brilliant invention as everything you want to read, your entire life's worth of library, can all be had and carried in your pant pocket anywhere in the world! Being the gear and gadget aficionado I can be, my Ipad also has ibooks in which it's somewhat debatable as to which is a nicer format to read: the Ipad or the Kindle. More choices are more confusing. On second thought, I'll just go get my old book now....