A Life of Waiting

Aside from the usual life activities one performs such as sleeping, eating, eliminating, talking, walking and brushing your teeth…you get the picture…in Tanzania, another activity that ranks high along with breathing would be waiting.

I’ve not yet taken a scientific calculation using statics or whatever the theory or science one employs to measure such a thing, but I’ll loosely say that a quarter of my life is the act of waiting…here in Tanzania.

What am I waiting for? No, I’m not waiting for Jesus’ appearance, enlightment, a job promotion or death. Well, the latter will come inevitably soon enough… In Tanzania, it’s notorious that everything and everyone is late. If you’re of German descent and brought up with the creed of “what have I contributed today?” I would think living in Tanzania would make sie Deutchen sehr loco in the cabeza! Punctuality and productivity are to Germans as piñatas and tortillas are to Mexico. I looked up in the English-Swahili dictionary to see if the word punctuality exists. Surprisingly it’s in the dictionary. Why would this word exist in their language since “punctuality” in Tanzania is merely a notion…or more, like an abstract concept?

Today I was telling a teacher and my most trusted friend that a certain XYZ is late and that he’s always late. I’m slightly complaining to him that one’s time should be respected and people shouldn’t have to wait. I am training XYZ to teach health to his community when I leave the country and meanwhile, he and I are teaching together. His response to my encouragement of the meritorious practice of punctuality was “that’s mzungu ”. (mzungu means foreigner in the Swahili language) Two concurrent thoughts crossed my mind and I had to quickly choose which to reply. 1) The not so politically correct but emotionally satisfying response would be something akin to…”And that’s why for 51 years in your country there’s always been Peace Corps presence! READ: you need our assistance…time is money, my friend” If I wanted to delve deeper because I found myself somewhat miffed, I would continue, “What else do you guys have going? I know you’re not stuck on the 4 lane 405 Freeway during rush hour, that’s for sure!”

Version 2) The nice version would be this…”Why yes, I am a guest in your country and I assume acceptance of your ways because how pompous of me to think I can wheedle my sentiment of a more productive way of being into your culture.” To continue the saccharine overdose…”You know, friend, I think Tanzanians’ got the right idea. Who cares about keeping appointments on time! France has said, ‘Let Them Eat Cake!’ So Tanzania can say, ‘Let Them Wait!’…hakuna matata.” I opted for neither and mustered a smile on my face pretending how silly of me that I would hope people arrive on time. What a dumb idea.

Here are situations where I feel like I’m waiting a lifetime and it is super duper frustrating:

1.     Bank- many customers and understaffed employees. It takes an hour just to withdraw money and I’m one of the first people to enter the bank. I wish I could say I was joking, but I ain’t. If I go to an ATM, sometimes there’s no money or there’s a glitch in the machine. I wonder how long it would it take to rob a bank?

2.     House girl- it’s been established that her starting time is 1PM. Consistently, she arrives an hour and half later. I say nothing because I am sympathetic to her duties in her own home taking care of her baby daughter, siblings and parents. Ironically, before she leaves, I would ask her, perhaps for my own comic relief, “What time are you coming tomorrow?” Her answer is always 1PM. Like Groundhog Day, she arrives an hour and half later everyday. Her inconsistency is consistent.

3.     Village meeting- three words: Never On Time or Most Likely Cancelled. The last meeting was 2 1/2 hours late and the one after never existed. Why even bother having them at all? Let’s just all do a virtual village meeting and pretended it happened.

4.     Counterpart- he’s like a game that you’ll either win or lose. 50% chance he’ll be on time, 50% he’ll be late.

5.     Dala dala- this mini bus that leaves my banking town into my village is one big cruel joke. They tell you one time but in actuality, it is really another. I either wait forever or I have missed it. Then we stop at another area for another hour to wait for more people to pile in.

6.     Students- this is probably the most painful one for me. Students in my village are painfully shy, self-conscious, easily embarrassed and have no confidence. Waiting for an answer from them is like waiting for thumb tacks to speak. An endurance in patience, compassion…and trying to keep awake.

7.     Electricity- call me spoiled, but I’m one of the few Peace Corps Volunteers fortunate enough to have some electricity. The days I’m in the dark, I’m just patiently waiting for electricity to come on. When God finally grants light, I am ecstatic and doing the happy dance, the marathon man, the cabbage patch, the electric slide, and air whooping my fist belting out,  “Yeah, baby, electriciTAAAAY….uhhh huuuuh…partaaay time in the crib….(snap, snap) who’s your mama??!!!!!! (pelvic thrust, pelvic thrust)”

8.     Internet connection- this is the same as point #7. It’s weak, sketchy, and unreliable; but nevertheless, it exists. It’s frustrating when I receive an important e-mail from Peace Corps or family and I can’t read it because it hasn’t downloaded from the server. Sometimes it’ll be a week before eventually it gets downloaded to be read. This also includes waiting for network to be present before I can add credit onto my phone for internet service. For friends and family who has to send me an important e-mail. Please time your emergencies a week before it happens so I can reply on time. Thanks. Oh, and I hope y’all enjoying reading my blog ‘cause it takes forever to post and 90% are written on my IPhone with one finger typing. Yes, talent, I know….

9.     Phone-because my and those around me have cheap ass phones; we do not have an answering service to our mobile phones. If we do, either we don’t know it or we don’t know how to use it. When you call someone’s mobile, it either rings meaning their phone is turned on or there is a recorded voice saying, “sorry sucker, your buddy’s phone is turned off”. I’ve yet encountered a voice mail recording with, “ Mambo! You’ve reached Tyrone. I’m busy planting beans in my field and can’t get to you now but please leave me a message.” Beep…….One needs to continue to keep calling until the party turns on his mobile and actually picks up the phone.

10.  Garden- When I first arrived in my village, I created an awesome permagarden. It took a while for things to start growing. Just when things were starting to sprout, my garden became a jungle because I was a lazy mofo gardener and I left home for training in which during this time, it grew to be a rain forest minus the canopy part. I asked the chairman to call some young lads to clear my backyard so I can find my toilet again. When I returned home from teaching, what did I find? Well, yes, now I can see my toilet, but the youths destroyed and cut down every thing in sight plus everything that started to grow. I don’t blame on them as they were cutting down a complete jungle and they couldn’t know what I had going on below the earth. I saw my beloved kale and other veggies lie limp and dead on the soil…sob, sob. I gave my house girl what remaining seeds I have and I’ll have to wait again for another jungle to appear.

Random rants:

1.     I gave a seamstress/good friend a fabric to make a blouse and skirt outfit. It took her 3 months before after some nice reminder from me that I’d like my blouse to be finished. Pretty please? It’s not that she was super busy, it’s because it was just sitting on her shelf collecting dust and spider webs.

2.     I’m doing the favor for a secondary school in which I need to travel and the expense is out of my own pocket to teach health topics and French. The head teacher doesn’t get back to me if the schedule I’m proposing is suitable for his school. Eventually, I called and it’s resolved…but why couldn’t he get back to me? I could have taught 2 weeks earlier!

3.     Now that my village has a tap water system, I no longer have to hoard rain water, but I still do as old habits are hard to break. When I was out of water, I was waiting for the rain, which I looked forward happily to black gloomy clouds. Conversely, when I had laundry hanging to be dried, I was waiting for the sun to quickly dry my wet clothes.

4.     Cooking beans and corn take forever even if I soak them for an entire 24 hours! The Tanzanian varieties are really little pebbles disguised as beans and corn.

5.     Waiting for family and friends’ package from abroad takes a while and when it arrives, I feel like a castaway finally being rescued after 10 years.

 This is the culture and when in Rome, do as the Romans. When in Tanzania, do as the Tanzanians... just wait.