At the Peace Corps Office in Tanzania

Last night we arrived in Tanzania and on the seat of the center where we were welcomed rests a small paper bag with our name written on it. I thought how cute...a goodie bag for each trainee. When I opened it, my happy face turned to an unhappy face. ...our malaria prophylaxis.

I was quite pleased with my hostel room and double pleased that it was on ground floor because otherwise I will start to bribe a volunteer to have him take my 3 heavy bags up the stairs. My closet is useless as my full size bed completely blocked it.

Triple pleased that there was running water thus an acceptable shower albeit cold; but with the warm and humid temperature, it was most welcomed.

Today is administrative work with vaccination, banking, and etc. We volunteers will be receiving as a living stipend of a whopping $4 ish a day. Whoaaaa...slow down cowboy!

The staff here in Tanzania Peace Corps seem extremely professional, nice and many are humorous. It really is a family here. I'm stoked big times to be a part of it with Americans and Tanzanians.

Au revoir America Bonjour Tanzania

I am currently sitting at gate 46 Delta KLM Air France in Newark Airport waiting for our flight to depart in over 5 hours. These last 5 hours are our last American hours, last call to family hours and literally any last minute affairs to handle hours.

Having weighed all 3 baggage prior to check-in at the airport counter, confident that each were under 50, to my dismay, one luggage was at 62 or 64 when the agent weighed it. Fudge! I quickly transferred things from bag A to bag B. I hate last minute stress and holding up the line. Once those 3 eyesores were out of my sight until I see them again in Tanzania, for the moment I can relax and chill. If it wasn't for the only volunteer who came with only 1 bag, I'd have to discard 50 lbs of things. Thanks to One Bag Max, he gave me his allowance. Farewell to canned fish and lots of toiletries would make me sad. I treated him to his last American burger and fries with a spicy Bloody Mary cocktail.

While I have 5 hours to kill, I'll call family and use the internet for when I am in country, what we take for granted daily is something only i can hope for when I am there.

First day of Peace Corps: Staging

Today is the day we regular folks become Peace Corps trainees. After nearly 3 months of successful pre service training, assuming we pass the technical and language skills, we will be sworn-in in Tanzania at the United States Embassy and become Peace Corps volunteers. Finally after 11 months, today I start Peace Corps.

Professional dress is highly emphasized and outside the hotel ballroom posts a sign of what we can and can not wear. According to Peace Corps, today we enter this organization; therefore, we must act and dress the part. No slouch need apply. I wore my black polyester dress, my formal wear on sale for $20 bucks at Kohl.  Good deal.

Eight hours of covering integration, mitigation and all the core values of the Peace Corps. Towards the end, I couldn’t keep my eyes open as I felt sleepy. It’s not because the presentation was boring; it’s because I’m emotionally drained, sleep deprived, and so worry about Fendi’s emotional well-being. I found myself very vulnerable and at any moment’s notice, I could cry at the snap of a finger. For a brief time when I would think about Fendi or any trigger that resembles family, my eyes began to water and God forbid I lose it in front of 41 people. Oh Jesus, please don’t let others see you cry…this is not good. Nobody’s going to believe that you have an allergy, because obviously you look straight up sad!

I am feeling stressed as how to divide and recalculate my now 3 check-in baggage. I am clearly over the weight limit and I dare say out of 41 people in my group, I am bringing the most things but regret nothing. A very helpful fellow Peace Corps buddy will be “owning” one of my 3 baggage as his in order for me to be allowed to bring it in to the country. Max is a rock star, the only person in our group who brought 1 baggage! My hero.

After staging has ended, I returned to my hotel room and immediately called Fendi as she has been on my mind the entire afternoon. The emotions I have been repressing had finally hit me and like a dam, it’s free flowing and it’s not a pretty sight. We skyped and a friend who was with her left the room to give us privacy as he saw Fendi’s mother crying on the other end of her computer screen. Oh gosh, a grown woman sobbing while covering her face…I better give the mother and daughter some private alone time. To my joy, Fendi was okay. Perhaps having a helpful friend  install her newly delivered Ikea furniture was a good distraction or witnessing me break down allowed her to see that it’s all okay. To put it in perspective, she perhaps may realize if anything, I need to be in “peace”.

After taking a break with Fendi, I telephoned my mother. Earlier today, I received an e-mail from brother telling me that mother was sad and that I should call her. I called mother dearest and as her usual self, she was very excited, loud, and full of energy. I answered all her questions and she asked if I saw cousin Steve. I recounted our evening to her. After speaking to the two women in my life, hunger struck and it was dinnertime. As I am walking the small restaurant row, I am wondering what kind of food I should eat for my last dinner in USA. Chipotle, hmmm…I’ve not had Mexican for a while, not a bad idea. California Pizza Kitchen, typical American...maybe I should do that. Nah, not in the mood for pizza, or Pei Wei, fake Asian cuisine. I’ll go for Pie Wei; I crave something like sweet and spicy. I ate by myself in a small booth while many trainees went off together to dine and socialize. I needed my alone down time to reflect and calm my nerves. I’ll be seeing these good folks during the duration of training but to be in solitude to contemplate will be challenging until I live alone in my own house in late December. Strange, my fortune cookie was empty. What does that mean?

I returned to my hotel room to take my possibly last luxurious American hot shower. I’ve decided that a hot shower is a luxury on a global scale. Definitely, no question about it. As a matter of fact, just to have water coming out from a spigot attached to a wall is amazing shit! Get ready, Wendy Liu, for another fun period of bucket baths…no, no, no…this can’t be the last. Tomorrow I’ll get up ultra early just to feel hot water running down my face. I will miss the heat and simply letting my arms just dangle besides my body.

As I currently write this post, I am enjoying the air condition, Green Mountain coffee from a Keurig coffee machine, lights, internet, and clean luxurious bedsheets with not 1, 2, 3 but 4 pillows on my bed from my business hotel room in Philadelphia, the Crowne Plaza. For once I wake in the morning, the next time my head will hit a pillow will be in Tanzania, and only Lord Buddha knows how that'll be like. I'm wondering if I should swipe the hotel shower cap and wear it to sleep as not to contract lice???

I am equally enjoying reading comments, posts, and messages from friends wishing me well. Honestly, nothing pleases me more than to hear support at a time like this where I'm ditching comfort and family for discomfort and the unfamiliar.

Tomorrow, the bus arrives at our hotel at 10:00 AM to pick our group of 41 people who belong either in the Health or Environmental sector for departure from Newark airport to fly overseas to Tanzania. First transit stop is Amsterdam, then Kilimanjaro to finally Dar es Saalam. Trainees for Education and Agriculture have already departed months back. Peace Corps Tanzania is awaiting for us as they have been preparing for our arrival. I have already heard their voices from a conference call and now I can see a face to what I heard.

I am looking forward to grow with my new family: fellow Peace Corps volunteers to be. Upon meeting everyone today, I think each person is super nice and super cool in their own way. There are two married couple, in which one couple is of an older age range and about 5 senior ladies. I belong smack right in the middle. I am neither a post graduate college student nor a grandparent yet. I am the token mid career person in our group. I love the inexperienced naivete of the younger crowd because of their ready excitement, yet the older folks are great with their experience and maturity as they are stable and exercises good judgment and wisdom. I genuinely look forward to learning from both.

.

Departure Day

September 30, 2012

I have a biological built in alarm clock in me that if I need to wake up at a certain time, my body will automatically do it at said time. This is only possible if I simultaneously think and feel about it before falling asleep the night before. It’s not 100% perfect for I can tell whether it will work or not simply by feeling it. When I’m not conscious enough, it’s not going to happen and I am aware of this intuitively.

Last night before falling asleep, I already knew I was not going to wake up on my own. I think failure happen when I am physically exhausted. So this morning it was Fendi’s alarm that did the trick. Like a good soldier, I quickly sprung from my feet the moment I heard the alarm, which made my heart pound fast and hard. It’s shocking to be awaken from a loud noise.

After shower and getting dressed, I hugged my mother goodbye, as she was to leave home to babysit her grandson. It was a pretty uneventful, neutral, no tears and a get to the point kind of goodbye. True to my mother’s style. She tells me she has breakfast for me and that I need to eat. I will miss my food pusher. She feeds and nourishes me. That’s what mothers do. They shove food down your throat and lots of it. When I’m at home, it annoys me at times. When I’ll be in Tanzania, I will wish I was home again.

My brother came to the house to pick Fendi and I to drive us to the airport. Since today was carmageddon, we needed to leave early to prepare for a detour. To our pleasant surprise, no traffic and smooth journey. When we arrived at LAX, they had breakfast and I had no appetite but just to participate at the dining table, I had artificially flavored strawberry yogurt. 

The dreaded departure time was near for me. We walked back to my terminal from the restaurant and before I was to ascend the escalator into security for boarding, this is it…it’s time to say goodbye. My brother said he’ll say goodbye first so we hugged each other tightly and kissed each other’s cheeks and shared I love you. When I turned to my daughter, I already saw that she had been crying for her eyes were red and wet with tears streaming down her perfect facial skin. My heart had been ripped into a million pieces at the moment of seeing and feeling her sadness. Yet, deep inside me I was glad to see that she was emotional for this meant that she loves me and will miss me. Like her mirror, I started to cry and we embraced each other for some time, standing like two twisted trees. Meanwhile, I was completely oblivious and disregarded discretion, as this was an intimate act in public for all to witness. My face is touching Fendi’s face and I repeatedly told her how much I love her and to remember all the things I have told her recently. I continued to talk in her ears again reminding her how much I love her, come visit me in Africa, take great care of herself and most importantly not to forget the things I have taught her recently.  I didn’t want to leave her body so I continue repeating the same words. It was an emotionally charged bid of farewell. There is no other way, anything less would be an anti climax. My heart is crushed and I just hope that my brother is able to console her before she boards her plane in 2 hours.

The first class seating in the aircraft enabled me to drink champagne and wine in which I most likely ain’t gonna be getting any in Tanzania so I enjoyed myself. It was inferior tasting but I still downed the swig because I can.

A fantastic and delightful treat was having my cousin meet me at the airport in Philadelphia. As I am wandering aimlessly around the baggage claim area waiting for my belongings to appear, all of the sudden before me appears my cousin who happily startled me! In great joy, I gave him a hug worthy of years of not seeing each other. He is a very special cousin for who I have great fondness. Cousin Steve never changes for he is always the consummate doting and considerate gentleman. I apologized to him as my luggage was so heavy and being the nicest guy in the world, he carried everything to his vehicle where I saw his wife, Amanda. We walk towards each other and hugged as if we were long lost sisters…so warm and loving was the feeling. In their mini van, we excitedly caught up with our lives and they expressed to me their admiration for what I’m about to do.  I am so happy to be talking to those who know the idea behind Peace Corps and completely support and is inspired by such service.

When we arrived at my hotel, cousin Steve tells me they’ve prepared some things for me and will give me a bigger duffel bag to carry what my smaller duffel bag won’t be able to accommodate. Amanda has for me several generous bags of Vietnamese coffee and some canned fish.  How thoughtful. Food and a new and improved duffel bag to boot! The additional weight is worth it. Food is going to be a big commodity especially tasty coffee drink and savory canned fish. I check in to my hotel and shortly, I meet 3 of my fellow Peace Corps volunteers. Super nice and super sweet kids in their 20’s.

For couple hours, cousin Steve, his wife Amanda and I excitedly talked about our kids, family, ourselves, and Peace Corps. I am trying to convince them to visit Tanzania for their 20 years wedding anniversary. They are sensitive and kind souls who would appreciate the simplicity and beauty that Africa has to offer.